I woke up July 21,2019 not really knowing what to do next. How does life move forward after you lose a son? The thought of returning to work seemed strange. Being at home alone was overwhelming, but being out was sometimes overwhelming too. Trying to do normal things like PTA meetings, girl scouts, and church, but not always feeling normal while there. Or trying to pretend to feel normal by completely blocking out the grief just to function.
But today it’s July 21,2020. And that means I MADE IT: I’m still here. I figured out how to take things one day at a time for 365 days. The grieving doesn’t ever fully go away, but you learn how to lean on your support system of God, family, friends (and a good therapist). You refocus on what really matters, and you vow to never ever take any day for granted, but to live with a purpose. You learn it’s okay to be sad in public and it’s okay to ask for help.
So today I choose to remember my sweet baby boy Shaydon, I choose to celebrate my journey of healing, and I choose to publicly thank every single person who helped me to take one small step forward, and supported me when I sometimes fell two steps back. I love you all very much!